Parents look at their children as the embodiment of their unfulfilled dreams. It is bound to happen that parents would expect their children to excel at something they couldn’t or even excel at something which they themselves have excelled at because they want their child to be better than them.
They can sometimes get carried away in their expectations, at which point, it is necessary that you let them know about it. It’s very true that as we grow up, we often forget that our parents have grown old too.
If you are a parent:
From the start, a child is put under a lot of pressure to be the best in the class. Their performance is compared with their class mates and their sibling. Parents forget that every child is not the same, so, expecting the same result out of everyone is not practical and reasonable.
We all forget about our time as children, when we were compared to others and used to hate it, but now, as parents, why are we doing the same. We forget that every child has some or the other talent in them and that can be nurtured. It’s about accepting the fact that academics is important but other sports and performing arts can also give our children an equally bright career.
It requires a little effort to get into this mind frame, difficult, but not impossible. Parents expectations from children means, parents will make relentless efforts to provide parental guidance and implement supervision, which will help children cultivate good study habits and overcome inertia and other growing pains
Learn to accept your child: We all have a lot of expectations from our children and if they do not keep pace with them, we are not able to accept that. We forget that this approach affects children negatively and they can only grow in a healthy and encouraging environment
Appreciate your child:
Positive words always work wonders. Appreciate your children every time they do something good. Even appreciate their effort. It will give them confidence to perform better and your relation will become stronger.
Do not compare:
The biggest mistake that parents do is that they start comparing their child with the sibling or friends. Remember, how much we hated it as children. It only lowers self esteem.
Let your child explore:
Give children space to explore their hidden talents, ask them what they like doing. Who knows, you might be in for a big surprise…
Sometimes parents want their children to choose a career which they themselves wanted to opt for, but could not do so. They want their children to complete their unfulfilled dream. Your child cannot have the same preferences as you had. They might end up with a bad performance in your desired role.
Wait and think…. Is this behaviour of ours really helping our children grow successfully in life? Are we not making them overburdened, increasing stress and lowering their performance? It’s time to accept the talents of our children and nurture them into successful careers. Love your child, make them self confident and self reliant so that they can find their own way to success and make you proud one day!!!
Parents’ expectations influence a child’s development in multiple ways. Don’t force your dreams on the child & inhibit their growth. Let them live “their” life, not “yours”. So parents out there, here is a piece of my mind – curb your expectations & keep them realistic!
If you are grown up:
Look at it from their perspective. Probably you might not want to be a parent as they were to you with regards to the ‘expectations’. But do not forget that as you needed them to hold your hand as a child, they need you more than ever to hold their hand now.