Almost all of us have a “perfect match” checklist. In theory, the more of each other’s boxes you can tick off, the more well suited you are for each other. But what works in theory doesn’t always work when put into practice. It goes deeper than your surface needs or earthly desires. A spiritual connection is when your souls are attracted to each other and are in sync. Two people who have a spiritual connection are not just properly aligned – they bond.
He or she is an ally for personal growth. You both decide that you want to work together to become your best selves as quickly as possible. You commit to helping and loving each other – and, here’s the key – everyone around you. Because, it is only when you are living love and kindness that your relationship will truly flourish. Try it and see…when put into practice, you can make all your dreams come true.
Maybe that’s why love is often called chemistry when you combine certain elements, they combine together to create a new unified whole. If and when you do spiritually connect with someone with whom you are also very compatible, the relationship is taken to a whole new level. It’s that spiritual connection that can really drive the passion. When you connect mind, body and soul, you have all the ingredients for success.
When you spiritually connect with someone, it usually goes beyond sharing interests, hobbies, religion, political ideologies, education or things like that. When you connect spiritually, you realize you share deeper things – values, principles, a way of looking at the world or a particular point of view.
If we use our relationships to make us wiser, kinder and more compassionate, we can actually change how they function. We can have the relationships and lives we’ve always dreamed of. Let’s take a look at the steps to building a spiritual relationship with a soul mate, whether you are married, taken or single…
The element that elevates a partnership is the idea that your role is to support each other on your path to reach ultimate evolution, to become your best self. Get clear that what you are looking for is not just physical security or emotional support but spiritual evolution. Whatever goals you set for your relationship will dictate how it functions day to day. If your goal is financial security, don’t expect satisfaction. If your goal is evolution of your body, mind and spirit, expect fulfillment beyond your dreams.
Make a list of the qualities you most want in a partner. Instead of looking for amazing features in someone else, develop them in yourself. For example, If you want a partner with financial stability, get stable yourself! You want someone fun? Be fun! The beauty of perception is that you will see all your own qualities, both good and bad, reflected back to you in your partner. Be complete in yourself, and you will see completion in your partner.
Think of your exes. What comes to mind? If it’s anything other than love, you have some work to do. The images and feelings that arise in your memory color how you experience your current relationships. Learn to forgive. No matter how bad your past relationship was, it taught you exactly what you needed to learn.
Part of healing past relationships is embracing change. In Buddhist philosophy, this understanding is the foundation of wisdom. There’s no start without a finish, no beginning without an end, no life without death. Your relationship will transform as you each evolve. As spiritual partners, your job is to love and support each other through this process. Use change for growth – don’t fight it.
If you want to see a wise, loving, spiritual partner, you must be that yourself. Create a daily practice that includes meditation, prayer or deep contemplation. There are a multitude of studies that prove the mental and physical health benefits of meditation. Learning to get still and meditate well is just like anything else: it takes training. Find and practice a method that speaks to you and connects you to something higher. The time and attention you give your meditation practice determines the results you will get.
You may find this hard to believe but touch, intimacy and connection are essential ingredients of spiritual partnerships. A satisfying intimate relationship starts with having a body that you feel good in. Yogic teachings explore the subtle energetic connections we have with each other. In order to access these deeper dimensions, your physical form must be healthy. Commit to a healthy diet that works with your needs. Commit to a regimen that enlivens you. Do something fun! Turn yourself on, and watch what happens in your intimate partnership.
We all have shadows that we don’t want to see. Being in a spiritual partnership requires that we grow up into the person we were meant to be. An essential step is bringing what we most deny in ourselves into the open. Partnerships are challenging. Your relationship is going to bring all your darkness to the surface. This is usually when the relationship ends, or when the trouble starts. Help each other work through the psychological issues that arise. Otherwise your own shadows will inevitably undo your relationship.
How you treat your relationship will create the results you experience. Is this the most special person on the planet to you? If so, how should you treat them? If you relate to them as a sacred being, they will be. If you treat them as ordinary, they will be. Remember the blissful feelings when you first met and recreate those times. Dress up, go out to the best restaurant, or make his/her favorite meal at home. Take time to make everything special.
A spiritual partnership is all about supporting each other’s deepest desires. In order to stay together, your two visions must align. Ask each other: What do you most wish for? Explore questions with courage and honesty. Your visions do not need to agree, but they need to align. Find the common aspects of both of your visions for the future. Maybe one of you wants to live abroad, while the other wants to live near family. Instead of getting caught in dualism, look for “mid ways.”
We are all meant to be the heroes of our own lives. No one can do it for you, even your spiritual partner. The best thing you can do for your relationship is to become the being you dream of, the being you were born to be.
Sometimes we become spiritually stuck and cannot evolve in a relationship. These are not spiritual relationships. These types of relationships hold us there not allowing for growth or other experiences. It is true that being a victim, martyr, persecutor, rescuer or love addict may have a karmic lesson but in this case the spiritual lesson is learning how to let go.
In conclusion a true spiritual relationship is one where both parties feel wholeness and complete together. It is the harmonization of male and female energy, which creates freedom within the relationship to accept each other unconditionally without hidden agendas. In a true spiritual relationship one knows how to give or take without being asked and to meet the other party’s needs without question.
Take 10 quiet minutes alone, and do the following contemplation: Imagine the end of your life. You are happy, healthy 100 years old. You have accomplished everything and have no regrets, nothing left undone. The 3 people you are closest to get up to speak of everything you have done and what they admire about you. Spend some time writing down what they said. Now work towards the things that you want them to say. It’s a simple way of stepping into that dream.
A spiritual partnership is a beautiful, powerful method to help you achieve a perfect relationship and anything else your heart desires. Because in the end, it all comes down to love.
~ Pallavi Thakur